Some lines from the Tick show on Fox: ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Heroes " Well, I could go on and on and on, but time's a-wastin', and evil's out there, making hand-crafted mischief for the swap meet of villainy." The Tick's wrap-up speech for the TV audience of "Heroes" (what'cha gonna do when they come for you?) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Tick vs. The Idea Men "Ladies and gentlemen, you might want to shield yourselves with your dessert menus, I might be dangerous!" introducing himself to the superhero convention "Destiny's powerful hand has made the bed of my future and it's up to me to lie in it. I am destined to be a superhero, to right wrongs and pound two-fisted justice into the hearts of evil-doers everywhere. You don't fight destiny, no sir! And you don't eat crackers in the bed of your future or you get all...scratchy. Hey, I'm narrating here!" pondering his new role as the defender of The City "The City...my The City"-upon arriving at The City "Hey cool! They got a blimp!"-awed by the Idea Men's getaway "You're not going crazy, you're going sane in a crazy world!" reassuring his sidekick Arthur's misgivings "My goodness, I'm a walking time-bomb!" after getting his hand stuck in an explosive device "And so, may evil beware and may good dress warmly and eat lots of fresh vegetables." endnote ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Tick vs. Dinosaur Neil "Family Values! You're crazy for that sibling!" describing Arthur's feelings for his sister "I will suppress my every urge." After Arthur asks him to tone it down around his sister "Wonderful tour, Dinosaur Neil. I never knew I could learn so much. Heh heh.. yeah.. Now, just to retain it!" after a tour of the park "Well, once again my friend, we find that science is a two-headed beast. One head is nice, it gives us aspirin and other modern conveniences,...but the other head of science is bad! Oh beware the other head of science, Arthur, it bites!" endnote ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Tick vs. Chairface Chippendale "The Tick caters to no man!" told that he would have to dress up as a caterer to sneak into Chairface's party ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Tick vs. Mr. Mental "The night is young and we have umbrellas in our drinks." trying to get Arthur to relax on their night off "A day job...in an office? My worst nightmare!" experiencing his deepest fears "The human mind is a dangerous plaything, boys. When it's used for evil, watch out! But when it's used for good, then things are much nicer." endnote ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Tick vs. The Breadmaster "Not baked goods, professor, baked bads!" describing the various devices of the Breadmaster "Your culinary crimewave has just crashed against the shores of justice!" confronting the Breadmaster "I'm betting that I'm just abnormal enough to survive." about to implement a dangerous plan "Let us not forget the lesson that we can learn from this, Arthur, that man was not meant to tamper with the four basic food groups" endnote ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Tick vs. The Tick "I am mighty! I have a glow you cannot see. I have a heart as big as the moon, as warm as bathwater. We're superheroes, man! We don't have time to be charming! The boots of evil were made for walking. We're watching the big picture, friend. We know the score. We are a public service, not glamour boys! Not captains of industry! Not makers of things! Keep your vulgar moneys. We are a justice sandwich, no toppings necessary! Living rooms of America, do you catch my drift? Do you...dig?" rambling during a television interview "I get it, spelling America with a 'k', are we?" perturbed at the carding policy of the Comet Club "Yeah, well, don't count your weasels before they pop, dink!" surprising Barry, the villain "Can't lose my name, it's on all my stationery!" rallying himself against Barry, the villain who wants the Tick to give up his superhero name ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Tick vs. El Seed "Life is a big wild crazy tossed salad, but you don't eat it, no sir! You live it! Isn't it great?" endnote ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Tick vs. The Uncommon Cold "I don't know the meaning of the word surrender! I mean, I know it, I'm not dumb...just not in this context." when given the option to surrender by Thrakkorzog ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Tick vs. Pineapple Pokopo "Slideshow,...boring. Losing,...consciousness." losing consciousness during mission briefing "Let's hang ten for justice!" surfing battlecry "You know gang, when you're a superhero, you never know where the day will take you. You may find yourself halfway around the world in the shark-infested waters of true-to-life living. Or you may find yourself going down to the store for a lozenge. You can't know, can you? No! You gotta ride that wave, You gotta suck that lozenge! Cause if you don't, who will?" endnote ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Tick vs. The Mole-Men "Ah savory cheese puffs, made inedible by time and fate" spring cleaning "I'm doing laundry!" overjoyed by simple pleasures "Supermodels usually don't date guys who live in the dirt." trying to deter the mole king from hitting on a surface girl ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Tick vs. The Proto-Clown "Well, once again we find that clowning and anarchy don't mix. And even though evil may wear big funny pants, it ARRRRRGH!..." finding out that he had not quite finished off the Proto-Clown "Yes, yes, it's so true. We're all born into the cold unyielding world of nothing, no blankets, no glove and scarf gift sets, and why? Why?" The Tick's mind trying to read too much into one of the Tick's statements "Oh what a goofy work is man!" The Tick's mind, waxing philosophic ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Tick vs. Arthur's Bank Account "Yes, destiny has her hand on my back, and she's pushing!" describing his obligation to fight the Terror "Evil, chum, is ever green!" explaining to Arthur how the Terror, an evil-doer who first appeared in 1903 can still be causing trouble in 1995 "Not in the face, not in the face!" Arthur's battlecry suggestion "Spooooooooooon!" The Tick's battle-cry! "We all enjoyed saving your life." a speech after saving the mayor's life "Yes, evil comes in many forms, whether it be a man-eating cow or Joseph Stalin, but you can't let the package hide the pudding! Evil is just plain bad! You don't cotton to it. You gotta smack it in the nose with the rolled-up newspaper of goodness! Bad dog! Bad dog!" same speech "On justice and on friendship, there is no price, but there are established credit limits." endnote ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ok, and now some Tickisms from the Comic book series. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Karma Tornado #6 "Say what you will about me! I comprehend very little of it anyway! But Arthur is harmless and huggable! And -- by gosh! -- that's what America is all about!" When protestors attack Arthur "Hmm.. single syllables. A formidable opponent." confronted by Filibuster, a huge gorilla-like thing Karma Tornado #8 "I don't care. I've kissed babies with this mouth." Refusing to call someone a "scumbag" Karma Tornado #10 "Inquisition this, you science dinks!" residents of Monolith, KY want to perform bizarre experiments on the Tick ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tick #1 "Destiny is a funny thing. Once I thought I was destined to become Emperor of Greenland, sole monarch over its 52,000 inhabitants." Thoughtful as he leaps from building to building Tick #2 "Fear not, cowering worm. I won't harm you. I'd like to, but I won't." --Talking to Billy in the elevator Tick #8 "I can understand your amazement, Arthur. But believe me, the novelty wears off after the first few times." --After being hit by a meteor "I am the Tick. Your brother has not done justice to your beauty with his words. You are the spitting image of Thelma from Scooby Doo." --To Arthur's sister, Dot ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Man-Eating Cow #10 "On the contrary, there is little difference between the real Tick and a Tick Bop-Em." --Sagin, on strategy