The Ballad of Doctor Matt

(sung to the tune of "The Ballad of Jed Clampett")
From: Jan Garfield
Newsgroups: alt.tv.amer-gothic
Date: 1 Apr 1996 03:54:18 GMT

Come and listen to my story
of a doctor named Matt
Lost his family in a car crash
in thirty seconds flat.
He crawled out of the bottle,
his lawyers set him free
So he loaded up his grief and
he moved to Trinity.
South Carolina, that is.
Sheriff Buck's the name.
That's Buck
With a B.

Well, next thing you know
Matt's at the ER there,
A-stitchin' and a slicin'
without a single care
Till they bring in Caleb Temple
suffering from shock
And he warms up really quickly to
the Elvis-loving doc.
Poor kid.
Sister's dead,
Dad's in jail.

Now Caleb's with Miz Loris
since the Sheriff killed his paw.
His dead sister showed him
how Lucas raped his maw.
Matt began to wonder
what all the fuss was for
When Merly drove him crazy
and he wound up on the floor
At Juniper House.
Strait jacket,
Padded cell.

Well, now it's time to say goodbye
to poor old Doctor Matt.
He took a shot at Lucas
and the town won't stand for that.
Who will back up Caleb
and even up the score
When Merly comes to warn him
that someone's at the door?
So Long, Doc,
See you in New York.
Don't forget your blue jacket.

Y'all stay away now, y'hear?

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